"The Husband Stitch" is super icky!!!

From Carmen Maria Machado's collection of stories, Her Body and Other Parties, "The Husband Stitch" was my favourite. I think it's because of how angry it made me. I had this really weird icky feeling that got worse throughout the course of the story. Reading about the ways in which the woman's physical autonomy changes with her marriage to a man made me really frustrated and sad.

At the start of the story, we are introduced to a young girl who establishes control over herself and her body and knows what she wants. She sets herself up to be more headstrong and different from other women, telling the reader that "this isn't how things are done, but this is how [she] is going to do them" (3). Additionally, as soon as she becomes involved with the boy who will be her husband, she sets up boundaries and rules: "he cannot finish inside of [her], and he cannot touch [her] green ribbon" (7). In the initial stages of their relationship, she revels in the fact that she has choice, that she can primarily worry about herself. However, as she becomes more involved with the boy, the relationship becomes something in which she "offers [herself] up to him" (7); At this point, the theme of female vs. male pleasure becomes increasingly prominent. The use of the word "offers" means that this is also a choice that she has made willingly; she chooses to place her boyfriend over herself. From what we can see as readers, the boyfriend does not "offer" in return. He just takes.

Things shift when the two marry. There is an interesting contrast to the rules she had at the start of the story; her rules that she had about him not touching her ribbon or "[finishing] inside of [her]" assert that her body is first and foremost hers. However, once they are married, the woman says that she "[wants] him to use [her] body has he sees fit" (11). Does she still have the same control and physical autonomy that she had at the start of the story, in which she puts herself first and does not compromise on that? By saying "I want," it is still a choice that she makes on her own. What she wants has changed. When she gives herself to him here, her body is just as much belongs to him as it does to her.

Obviously, I was most angered by the scene when the woman gives birth to her son. Choices are made regarding her body for her; it no longer matters what she wants. Nobody even stops to consider what she wants before they deliver the baby and sew her up. Despite her saying she "doesn't want that," doctor tells her "it may be best for everyone" and winks at the husband (15). This is where I lost it, where I started to get really angry and feel icky. It made me want to scream. Who is everyone?! It seems that "everyone" means people who aren't her; other people are the priority, even in cases involving her own body, when she carried a human being inside of her for 9 months and was in labour for hours. This entire scene is so dehumanizing. Is she even considered a person anymore?! When the husband asks about the "extra stitch," it is clear that her body is now something that he can just do things to (17). He is so used to being able to take and take from her; her body is his, his thing to have control over and make decisions about.

With the husband being so used to taking what he wants from his wife and her willingly giving it to him, her wanting to keep her green ribbon for herself is almost viewed as some hostile secret or betrayal. He accuses her of having secrets and hiding things from him when really, it is just her reserving her right to have something for herself. I guess women aren't allowed to have that. She is upfront with him about how she has "given [him] everything [he] has ever asked for," but for her to have this "one thing," is something that is so foreign to him (21). He views it as a violation, something she is purposely hiding from him with ill intentions; He views her and her ribbon - her "one thing" - as something that he has a right to (21). With their marriage, the idea that she can have anything for herself is something that has slipped away. No matter how much she tries to keep the ribbon for herself, she ultimately concedes at the end and it kills her. Her husband's greed and his inability to let her have her "one thing" is fatal.

Photo: Horror Homeroom